well 'Connection refused' means that the first appliance cannot connect to the second appliance. Quite certainly a firewall/network/routing problem between the two appliances.
sounds like your central management configuration on the new node is not correct. Have you configured the correct ip and port?
IP should be the physical IP of the interface of the appliance and the default port should be 12346
"incorrect IP Specified or No Listener on Node That is Being e Added"
Have you configured a listener port on the node you are trying to add?
(UI -> Configuration -> Central Management -> Central Management Settings)
If so, is the IP for this port correct?